English Conditionals and "would"

I'm having a discussion with my wife on English conditionals.

She says we cannot have "would" in a hypothetical if statement:

If I would want to change my address, should I let you know?

She says that "would" can only occur in the second part (as in Type 2).

If this is the case, is there then no way to describe "a hypothetical situation in which I would want to change my address" as conditional?

I feel like this sentence is different from:

If I want to change my address, should I let you know?

Then again, maybe it is just that I'm confused with how we would say it in Dutch.

And what about if it is the change, not the wanting to change, that is hypothetical? In other words:

If I would change my address, should I let you know?

Answer

is there then no way to describe "a hypothetical situation in which I would want to change my address" as conditional?

Yes, there is a way. To express a hypothetical present time situation, use the past tense verb form in the if-clause:

If I wanted to change my address, should I let you know?

If the change is hypothetical:

If I changed my address, should I left you know?

For a hypthetical past time situation, use the past perfect in the if-clause and use the perfect in the other clause:

If I had wanted to change my address, should I have let you know?
If I had changed my address, should I have let you know?

The use of would in the if-clause ranges from colloquial to "acceptable" (i.e., "standard) in American English. The answer by StoneyB seems to cover the uses generally recognized as standard. However, I'm not sure if it includes the situation where the action in the in-clause comes after the action in the other clause, as in

If it would make her dance I would give her a dollar.

Here, the dancing comes after the dollar-giving.

In addition, Longman Exams Dictionary, grammar guide is said to include the following example:

The blockades wouldn't happen if the police would be firmer with the strikers.

Here is conditional would in the if-clause of a typical conditional sentence. I don't have a copy of this book, but it is cited in the Wikipedia article on the English conditional and elsewhere (although it's possible that Wikipedia is dependent on the WordReference link as its source). The same WordReference link also cites Practical English Usage (3rd edition) as saying

Conditional would is sometimes used in both clauses of an if-sentences. This is very informal, and is not usually written. It is common in spoken American English:

It would be good if we'd get some rain.
How would be feel if this would happen to our family?

Thus, it really depends on the register (formal vs informal) that you are asking about to answer your question in general. For colloquial American English, at least, the use of conditional would in if-clauses is used by some and apparently accepted in one sentence by Longman in written English.

However, I don't know of any American who'd say your example sentence (If I would want to change my address, should I let you know?).

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Notes

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