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My boyfriend of six months has moved farther away. I don't know if we can have a healthy relationship if he lives so far away. Can you give me advice?

While plenty of people have happy, healthy, long-distance relationships, this is not the case for everyone. Being far apart can create difficulties in scheduling times to talk on the phone or use video chat, and certainly puts stress on the intimacy that's been established in a relationship. That being said, some people maintain friendships and romantic relationships without ever meeting in person! Here are a few things you may want to consider:


You mentioned that your boyfriend has moved farther away and that you did not already live in the same place. Has the distance between you been a source of stress or complications in the six months you've been in a relationship? If so, how do you think the increased distance might add to this stress? If not, why do you think distance will become a problem now if it has not been thus far? Were you able to visit and spend time with each other, but now cannot? 


What means of communication do you use to "spend time" with each other? Skype or other video chat, talking on the phone, sending letters, playing online games together? Will any of that change? If you have been able to spend time together in person and it looks like increased distance will cause a problem here, are there any ways you can overcome this obstacle? For example, if the two of you spent time together and really enjoyed going to baseball games, maybe you could watch baseball games on television at the same time. There are plenty of ways to "synthesize" activities.


Because you have been in this relationship for about six months, I'm sure that you know each other pretty well. I am about to ask a difficult question, but do you feel that this relationship is worth the stress of staying together despite the distance? Will it lead to more stress for one or both of you to maintain the relationship in these new circumstances? Or are both of you happier and healthier in the relationship? I know that this is not an easy thing to think about, so I suggest you make a list of the pros and cons for you and your boyfriend with regards to this relationship. You might even ask your partner to create a pros and cons list, and then you could compare. Communication is important, especially in long-distance relationships.


Finally, I would like to suggest that you give it a test run! It sounds like you want to stay in a relationship with your boyfriend but are concerned about the complications of long-distance. If you really like him, I think it could be worth giving it at least a month to allow your partner time to adjust to his new surroundings and schedule. This could also be a great opportunity for the two of you to get creative with ideas on how you can spend time emotionally and mentally connecting, eve if you are not together in person. 


Here is a link to a website that has lots of suggestions for activities for long-distance couples, as well as advice on having a healthy long-distance relationship.

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